The Isolated Introvert: Why Am I Not Exhilarated?

Under normal circumstances, the thought of sequestering myself away from the rest of the world would be an intoxicating prospect. I've been known to go on vacations and want nothing more than to sit by the fireplace or to breathe fresh air in the sun (depending on the season) with a thick book or a crafting project. Why, then, is this pandemic's requirement of "social distancing" such a challenge for me?

The answer occurred to me after a recent conversation with a colleague about the way the nervous system works. When we're in imminent danger, our sympathetic nervous system (SNS) takes over with a fight/flight/freeze response. The reverse can also happen. If we're frozen for some other reason, such as needing to remain still for a dental cleaning, it can trigger the sensation of being afraid.

I realized that being required to stay away from people is reminding my nervous system of what it was like to feel depressed. Even though staying home due to depression might seem like a choice, it really isn't. The impulse to make social contact is non-existent. So having that choice taken away from me, whether by government guidance or by the state of my mental health, it feels the same in my body.

Not all is lost, though. The nervous system can be persuaded to change its perspective and can be convinced that the two situations are not equivalent. A quick way to do that is to access the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) via the vagus nerve, which offers calming support. Here are a few ways that can happen:

• intentional breathing - If you are anxious, take care to exhale longer than you inhale.
• cold - A frigid compress/shower, or an iced beverage or frozen food, stimulates the "rest-and-digest" aspect of the PNS. (I suspect that's why sitting down with a pint of ice cream can be so comforting!)
• vocalizing - It doesn't matter whether you talk, hum, sing, or laugh. Using your voice connects directly to the vagus nerve.

The above suggestions are only the first step. They can help create a safer space where you can discover and resolve whatever the underlying issue (injury) might be. That's how I realized my own connection between isolation and depression. It also gave me room to formulate some ways to feel better about being physically disconnected from others.

Here are some of my ideas for getting excited about my unexpected alone-time:

• Create a schedule. Uncertainty feels overwhelming. Having a plan, no matter how inconsequential the individual tasks are, builds a foundation. 
• Offer Reiki to our collective circumstance.
• Connect with loved-ones to catch up and with colleagues to collaborate.
• Work on cross-stitch projects that have fallen by the wayside.
• Write posts for this blog. I've had lots of ideas but not as much focused time as I wanted. (This isn't a topic that I intended to write about, but here we are.)
• De-clutter my living space - and take the time to figure out why it got that way in the first place.
• Practice being gentle with myself. (i.e., Progress, not perfection.)
• Find ways to bring my business offerings into virtual spaces.

How are you planning to use this time? How might I support you?